Why are my debts getting between me and my family?

Talking about finances with your partner or friends is still somewhat taboo in Québec. It's hard to discuss salaries, so imagine what it’s like to talk about debts? But financial problems are much common than you might think.

Summary

Are your financial troubles getting between you and your loved ones?

Excessive debt often isolates us from our loved ones. Our finances are unfortunatly often treated as a taboo subject. But they shouldn’t be! Money troubles are more common than you might think.
Talking to someone about your money problems is a huge wight off. And simply discussing with someone you can trust help clead to solutions.
Avoid borrowing money from friends and family. If you can’t pay them back, it could harm the relationship. Instead, seek help from a counsellor in financial recovery when your money problems feel insurmountable.

Every year in Québec, 45,000 people need the help of a Licensed Insolvency Trustee to get out of financial pickle.

It’s normal to be anxious when your finances are in trouble. But here are 5 behaviours to avoid so you don’t become isolated.

When we have money problems, we often prefer to keep it to ourselves. We may feel guilty or shamed, and tell ourselves that we can work things out on our own.

The people close to us often notice that we seem moody and preoccupied, without knowing why. They see us turn down invitations, often with no explanation. The result? Even more distance.

Would you like to avoid sinking into isolation? Here are 5 things you shouldn’t do. Face your fears: confide in someone you trust. It’s a good first step in regaining control of your situation.

1.

Telling yourself that nobody can know about your financial situation.

One month where money’s a little tight? It can happen to anybody. There’s no need to sound the alarm. But when your debts start to pile up and threaten your well-being or affect your relationship or family, you need to act fast to prevent the worst from happening.

It’s never fun to talk about money worries, but speaking to your partner, a friend, or someone who’s been in the same situation can be helpful. Not only will you feel better, but the conversation could be the starting point for a solution.

2.

Being afraid of how your friends and family will react if you talk to them about your debts.

Of all the people you know, those closest to you care most about your well-being. Think of them as allies. It may not be easy to tell them about your financial troubles. But they’ll be the first to offer help and support as you take steps to get out of the situation you’re in.

3.

Thinking you’ll cause trouble for your loved ones simply by speaking to them.

The main thing to remember: personal debts remain personal. Talking to your friends and family won’t put them in harm’s way. They won’t have to pay for your debts. And no one will harass them.

On the other hand, you might be tempted to borrow money from those close to you to settle your debts. Or ask them to be a guarantor on a loan. Good or bad idea? Ask yourself this question: if I can’t pay back my loved ones or if they have to make payments on my behalf, have I really improved my situation?

4.

Thinking that you and your family will lose everything.

You know very well that your debts won’t magically disappear. Sooner or later, you’re going have to pay them or have them discharged, for example, by filing a consumer proposal or declaring bankruptcy. But if you’re afraid of losing everything by going through this kind of process, you’re mistaken.

With most consumer proposals or bankruptcies, you’ll be able to keep your vehicle, retirement savings, salary, alimony, etc. You’re a long way from losing everything!

5.

Thinking you get have to fix the situation by yourself.

Aside from your friends and family, your best ally in finding the way back to financial health is a counsellor in financial recovery. Counsellors in financial recovery are there to help you see your financial situation more clearly and find the best solution for you to start over. They have the perspective and expertise to assess your situation, without ever judging you.

The role of a counsellor is to guide you through the process, until all your debts are discharged. They also become the point of contact for your creditors. That’s a huge weight your shoulders, because you no longer have to respond to their incessant calls.

Do you feel ready to talk about your situation? Book an appointment with a counsellor today.